The traditional one-night stand involves meeting a sexually-attractive stranger and taking them home for a night of unattached sex: they leave in the morning and you don’t see them again. Well, the half-night stand cuts out the staying over part: the late night guest leaves straight after the sex is over.
“Joe was lazy in bed and wouldn’t give me head, so I got out of there as soon as he fell asleep. I guess I’ve had a half-night stand now!”
Haunting occurs when you think you have finished things with a date that didn’t work out – or even a serious relationship – but then you notice signs that your ex is lurking your social media feeds, eg. they randomly like old Instagram pics or watch your daily stories. Often the notifications are a deliberate attempt to remind you that they exist.
Etymology: This is another supernatural dating metaphor but the meaning is almost the opposite of ghosting: in this case the offender lingers around rather than disappearing.
Incel is a term that became popular on Reddit to describe men who can’t get laid. The term, as a descriptor, is doubly demeaning. Not only is no one attracted to incels, but they also have a stupid name to describe them. Most incel problems could be sorted out by putting in minimal effort into looking better and having more positive interactions with women, but that’s none of our business. Incel’s slightly less embarrassing cousin is volcel – the voluntarily celibate.
Coined by dating app Hinge, Kittenfishing is when you portray yourself in an unrealistically positive light in your online dating profiles. We all do this to some extent, but kittenfishing crosses the border into dishonest territory: think photoshopped or very outdated profile pics, or listing “lawyer” as your occupation when you’re really a first year law student.
Etymology: You already know about catfishing, when a person pretends to be someone they’re not online. Well, kittenfishing is the lite version of that.
LEFT ON READ
You send a text to your crush and wait for their reply, giddy with excitement. Maybe youre asking them out on a date, or maybe youre just trying to start a conversation. Regardless, rather than a reply, you simply get a read receipt. “Read at 2:39 p.m.” Then … nothing. If youre watching the convo like a hawk, you might get the indignity of seeing them start to type a reply and then give up. Its a demoralizing feeling to be left on read. Its also a good reason not to use read receipts.
Etymology: From the phrase “read receipt,” a notification visible in a chat or text window when a person has seen a message but not responded.
If youve ever experienced someone ditching you by claiming theyre studying when in fact theyre just not interested, what you felt was lockering. For high-school sweethearts starting college at separate schools, this could be a prelude to connecting singles-ondersteuning a Thanksgiving breakup, better known as a turkey dump. Since the main feature of lockering is the claim that nothings wrong, theyre just focusing on their studies, it could occur at any point during your time in school.
Etymology: From the word “locker,” a small, typically locked space for your personal belongings in a large public building such as a school.
LGBTQ stands for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer (or questioning), and its an acronym that’s used to include the whole of a bunch of different communities of people whose sexualities or gender identities place them outside of the mainstream both historically and today. Some incarnations of the term include groups like intersex people, asexuals; and often the final Q is omitted in popular discourse. Nevertheless, it’s a useful term when you’re trying to refer to several, often intersecting groups of people at once.